The Rules


1) Real women eat oysters, drink scotch and eat every bite of their 24 oz. steak bloody rare. All other women are suspect.

2) Try it . Just once. Don’t be a baby about it please. Fearless is sexy. Be it lamb brains, sea urchin risotto, or fish eyeballs. It may not be as offensive as you think. C’mon try it. Seriously, what’s the worse that could happen?

3) DON’T…Reach for the salt shaker before you take at least one bite. Most food is already highly seasoned. Blindly reaching for the salt shaker before you taste is just silly.

4) The painfully obvious: Be very nice to the wait staff. Always. Look your server in the eye when you order. Say please and thank you. This of course, does not mean you have to tolerate crappy service or mishaps. If there is a real issue, then speak to the management. But say it super, super nicely please and don’t make a scene. Now conversely…

5) Wait staff and assorted restaurant management should care. For example, if your reservation is at 9 and 9:15 rolls around while you are having a cocktail at the bar then the hostess should stop by and say, “Sorry, we are running behind tonight.” When 9:35 rolls around, come by again and say I’m really sorry, the table will be available soon.” Like any good relationship, communication is key. People will tolerate a lot of crap if you are up front and polite about it.

6) Submit to the chef and/or the wait staff. It’s a great thing to roll omakase style. Just walk in, sit down and say “I’m in your hands.” Even at your old standby Italian joint down the street. I especially recommend this for the ones who are control freaks or have food phobias. You will be pleasantly surprised.

7) Truffle oil is pretty awesome and classes everything up.

8) Tip 20%. Don’t make a big deal about it. Don’t get all “entitlement” argument on me. If the service really sucked then tip 15%.

9) Rolling food tours are generally awesome. Expensive yes. But very fun. Appetizers and a cocktail at location #1, pasta course at location #2, entrée at location #3...

10) There should be more BYOB places in this world.

11) At home, if you are lucky enough to have your love cook for you:· Serve the chef lots of really good wine while they chop and stir
· Play DJ and select the playlist of old school grooves on the ipod
· Wash the dirty dishes
· Give the chef a kiss

12) Offer your date an aperitif when you take her to dinner. Say “aperitif” without a hint of pretension in your voice.

13) Blowfish is kind of overrated.

14) It’s perfectly acceptable, and in fact should be applauded when one will wait on line 3 hours for pizza because it’s considered the best.

15) Cocktail hour should be mandatory. There is nothing better than marcona almonds, baguette, cheese, truffle honey and an icy blue cheese stuffed olive vodka martini at 7pm on any given night.


16) A hedonistic life is a life worth living.